Danny sat at his table, sorting through the pile of mail
he’d let pile up over the course of a very busy week. Bills went into one pile,
rejection letters in another, he cursed when he opened yet another thin envelop
telling him they his play wasn’t right for the lineup they had planned for the
upcoming year. He tossed it with the others and sighed. He’d known when he
wrote Masks that it was a little bit
different but he’d never imagined that it would be this hard to find playhouses
who’d be willing to perform it.
The junk mail pile grew as well. He was getting damn
tired of the same insurance company sending a brochure every month, and what up
with cigarette companies, he didn’t smoke but was forever getting coupons. The
only coupons he truly appreciated were the ones for cat food with as much as
his kitties ate.
Lyric mewed and jumped up on the table, landing in the
pile of rejection letters which slid, spilling paper and cat onto the floor.
With a sniff and a flick of her tail she stalked off to go sit on the back of
the couch and lick her paws while shooting him dirty looks. Like it was his
fault she’d picked a crappy place to land.
The knock on the door couldn’t have come at a better
time. He held the last letter in his hands, the return address reading Atticus
Playhouse and it didn’t feel any thicker than any of the others had so he was
in no big rush to open it and see that his play had been passed over again.
He looked through the peephole as he’d taken to doing
ever since he’d kicked Sean out, shocked to see Jax standing on the other side,
shuffling from one foot to the other. Quickly undoing the locks, Danny pulled
the door open and looked up at his neighbor.
“Hey,” Jax said, continuing his restless shuffle.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Danny asked, feeling a little
nervous as he watched Jax’s eyes dart around the hall. “Do you want to come in?”
Jax sighed heavily and shook his head. “No thanks, just
wanted to say I was sorry. I saw the sticky notes you left on my door, I just,
I’m sorry I didn’t respond.”
“No problem, I figured you were busy at the shop and
stuff, it’s no big deal. I had free time and thought you might want to hang out
if you didn’t have anything else to do.”
That just seemed to make Jax shuffle more.
“I um, didn’t have anything going on, I just didn’t want
to hang out is all.”
“Oh.”
“Like I said, I’m sorry. It was really cool of you to
come down to the shop and pick me up the other night, you didn’t have to do
that. You deserve better than me ignoring you.”
“Yeah,” Danny said. “I do, and I deserve better than an
apology too. I deserve to know why you’ve been ignoring me, did I do something
wrong. If it was about the way I kissed you in the alley, I’m not sorry. I’d
wanted to do that since you kissed me in the hall. If you’re worried that I’m looking
for something intensely serious between us, don’t be. I just got out of a
shitty relationship I went into way too fast. I’m not about to make the same
mistake again.”
“Yeah, I-I wasn’t trying to assume anything.”
“Weren’t you? Isn’t that exactly why you ignored me?
Look, you made it pretty clear you had relationship issues and so did I.
Figured as long as we were being honest with one another, we could see where
things might go. But I’m not in the mood for another person who wants to play
games so thanks for the apology, I think it’s best if we go back to just being
neighbors.”
Jax pressed his hand against the door as Danny went to
close it. “I, that wasn’t my intention.”
“No, but it is mine. Can you get your hand off my door
please?”
“Can I just say something first, please?” Jax asked.
Danny debated, but in the end, decided he wanted to hear
what Jax had to say, if only to confirm his decision that getting involved with
him wasn’t going to work out.
“Fine.” Danny said at last. “Go ahead.”
Jax bit his lower lip, looking everywhere but at Danny.
“I like you,” he finally blurted out.
“You have a very bad way of showing it.”
“I know, that’s part of what I was sorry for,” Jax said. “I
like you, but I didn’t want to like you.”
“Isn’t that nice. Thanks, that’s just what I needed to
hear.”
“No, I, dammit, Danny, it’s complicated.”
“Uh-huh, well do me a favor and uncomplicated it or get
out of my doorway.”
Jax’s shuffling turned to pacing until Danny stepped out
into the hall right in front of him to bring his motion to a halt.
“Look, spit it out or go, I’m not in the mood for
bullshit, okay.”
“I’m trying.”
Danny just snorted and shook his head. “Try harder.”
“I have some major issues, okay?” Jax began. “Trust
issues, self-esteem issues, food issues, just, issues. I’m not good
relationship material right now. I really enjoyed going out with you. I like
spending time together. I like you. I don’t wanna mess that up.”
Danny stepped back, studding him for a bit. Jax looked
sad, and tired. He believed him when he said that he had issues, some of which
Danny had already caught a glimpse of. It was a plus that Jax was being upfront
right now, even if it seemed like he was holding a lot back.
“I like you, too,” Danny admitted. “I’m not happy about
being ignored and that you felt you couldn’t be honest and upfront with me when
I left the notes, or even before that, but I would like us to be friends.”
“So would I, and if it turns into more later…”
“No, see that’s where you start getting confusing again.
You say you’re not ready for a relationship but you’re already talking about
being open to one, which means you’ve thought about us having one but some
issue or fear is getting in the way. You kissed me first, then you kissed me
back, what that tells me is you’re fine with the physical stuff, you just don’t
want… what, to be tied down to one person? Sorry, I don’t do casual sex.”
“That’s… not what I’m after. I mean, I would be, if you
were into it, but…”
“Yeah, okay, time to go.”
“Danny…”
“No!” Danny snapped, cutting him off. “Enough for the
night. come back when you figure out exactly what you want from me, or don’t, I
don’t have time for this shit.”
And with that Danny stalked back inside and closed the
door with a firm click, reengaging the locks and throwing himself on the couch
only to be pounced on by the kitties. Hugging them, he ranted about men until
they scattered and found somewhere else to sit. Leaving Danny staring at the ceiling
and grumbling into the night.
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